- Marry, son, you will know. There will be no wedding. Signs that a man will not marry you Dating your mother is not a guarantee of marriage

No, no, it's not the right place! How to propose marriage to a man or a guy ... I have already begun to have a nervous itch. I can't imagine a girl proposing to a guy. Or that a woman proposes to a man. A woman can propose to a man in one single case, namely: when she is absolutely sure that he himself does not talk to her about marriage just because he is afraid to hear a categorical “No” from her.

Cute girl! Yes, yes, you! Who decided to propose to her beloved man. Here and now. Finally and without further ado. Has it ever occurred to you at all that this man (who, as I understand it, is much older than you) has not waved at you until now for one single reason? Namely - because you have never even peeped about how desperately you want him to propose to you? When a man really has the intention of marrying a girl who is much younger than him, he does not hesitate too long. And the proposal of his hand, and at the same time the heart, the young lady receives from this man very, very quickly.

The same situation is with a woman. Since a man does not propose to her, it means that he is not at all going to legitimize his relationship with her - at least in this segment of his life. So simple. How else? Or does someone seriously believe that excessive shyness prevents a man from making a marriage proposal?

Lovely girls in love - women comrades - ladies! Instead of perplexing yourself with the question of how to propose to your beloved man, it is better to think about something else at your leisure. Namely: how to provoke this man himself to propose to you? I repeat. If a man does not talk to you about the wedding, this means one of three things: either he is not sure that you love him, or he is not thinking about family life yet, or he is not going to marry you at all. And what to do? In any case, do not make him an offer of marriage yourself!

A man, as a rule, always needs a little push, and your declaration (or semi-confession) of love can perfectly become such a push. “I am glad that we are together”, “I would not want us to ever part” ... Say such neutral phrases as if by the way. Be sure: a man will hear them very well, and will understand very well what exactly you are trying to tell him. Well, then - just watch his reaction. Perhaps a man will make an offer of marriage to you instantly (as it was with me). He may need some time to more clearly define his feelings for you. But perhaps - and you need to prepare yourself for this - he will soon end your relationship. The most important thing here is to remain honest with yourself, and clearly determine for yourself in advance how many months or years of your life you are ready to throw away waiting.

Be that as it may, a woman cannot offer a man to marry herself, this is not accepted. And it is not accepted, first of all, in the world of men themselves. A man proposes to marry! And a woman (girl) accepts it (or does not accept it) - this is how she decides to dispose of her Destiny.

Do you disagree with what I'm saying? Are you still patiently waiting for an answer to the question, how best can you propose to your man? Are you more than ever sure that a woman can make a marriage proposal - and a man can decide whether to give this woman the honor of accepting her proposal? Well, a position that is completely alien to me (I confess!), Which, nevertheless, “has quite the right to exist” (so, it seems, they usually say?) And what, in fact, is the difficulty? "I love you very much. Would you like to be my husband?" That's all. The offer has been made. And whether you get the hand and heart of your man in return - that's as he wants.

Well, for that girl who is not going to propose to her boyfriend to marry her, as well as for that woman who will never make the same proposal to her man, I will repeat myself. As soon as a man decides to propose to you, he will make it. Even if he, a man, lives on the other side of the planet. Even if he doesn't know a word of your language. The same applies to the guy. Just allow yourself the luxury of being proud—and wait for that moment.

We are not talking about a business deal, but about a proposal from a loved one and turning this proposal into a real wedding date. Some women will say that this process is much harder than a serious corporate transaction. Of course, the "Rules" can significantly facilitate it.

If you have followed The Rules from the moment you met Mr. Perfect and from the first words about love, he necessarily will make an offer. Sometimes this happens very quickly, in just a few months, but on average it takes a year and a half. (Maybe he has his own "rules" that require long courtship before proposing. There's nothing wrong or unusual about that.)

Your problem is not that the man wants to marry, but to set the exact date. Men can date women for five years! They always put off engagement and wedding dates. If a man offers to live together first to test his feelings and see you more often, tell him that you are an old-fashioned girl and want to wait for an engagement or wedding. A man may love you, but marriage still scares him. Maybe he's just trying to maintain his bachelor lifestyle. Maybe he was married before and is in no hurry to remarry. Or maybe he's just young (under 25).

In general, in order to get a man to marry you within a reasonable time, you must categorically refuse to live with him until the engagement and wedding and continue to meet no more than three times a week, although by this time you yourself will already passionately want to be together permanently.

If that doesn't work, you can rock the boat a little: go away for the weekend with a friend, cancel your Saturday date with the excuse of being busy, mention a new apartment lease, talk less about what you're doing. All this should instill anxiety in a man and push him to the proposal. As you already know, a man who is afraid of commitment loses fear when a woman herself moves away from the cherished date, and does not approach it. This is not a trick. You just give the man space and freedom.

If You Didn't Follow The Rules During Your Courtship

Let's say you've been dating a man for more than a year, but he avoids talking about marriage and the future in every possible way. What to do in such a situation? Ask the man about his intentions. If he says he's not going to get married, accept that answer and don't date him again. In this matter, men do not lie. He is not afraid of commitment - he just does not want to marry you.

If he says that he will certainly marry you ... someday, then it is you who will complete the deal. Ask him when? If he says that in a year or two, leave him and start dating other men. You have been waiting for an offer for more than a year - why waste another one?

If you already live together (because you learned about the "Rules" after moving), but the man says that he is not going to get married, pack up and leave. Don't say, "I'm leaving because you don't want to commit." It's too trivial. Just say that you need more space, that you found out about a great apartment that your friend is renting, or something like that. If a man does not want to take on obligations, leave him alone. If he doesn't try to stop you and propose, don't waste your time. If he asks what's going on, calmly answer: "I don't know if I should continue this relationship." If he can live without you, you don't need such a man. Move on.

Here is what you should not do under any circumstances:

• 1 Don't tell a man you're hurt, don't reprimand him for making you waste your time and fooling you. You lived with him - and no one twisted your arms. Take responsibility for your own actions.
• 2 Don't offer to see a psychologist to discuss his fear of commitment. Men are perfectly capable of making commitments if they love their women, and women follow the Rules. But if a woman herself chases a man, if she is too accessible, if a man is not in love, then a real phobia instantly arises. Men say, "I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the concept of marriage," or talk about divorce statistics.
• 3 Don't let a man make you think that marriage is not important - "it's just a stamp in your passport" that it's important just to be together. If he does not want to marry, then he is in you. not in love. Or his love is not what you need. If a man does not want to get married, then he still wants to find someone else!
• 4 Don't let a man convince you that because he was already married, he can't get married again, that you should give him time to recover from his ex-wife.
• 5 Don't let a man you've been dating for a long time persuade you to wait until everything "settles down" at work, financial problems are solved, or something else happens. This is the most unacceptable reason. There will always be problems at work and with money. Nothing should stop a man from marrying you. A man in love wants to get married and hopes that you will not notice these problems or that you will help him find a solution. He will still beg you to marry him. He will get down on one knee and say something like: “I know I'm not a millionaire, but I love you and I'm ready to do anything for you. When a man says "You're too good for me" it means "I don't want you".

The first date with the man went well. It does not matter where it happened, the main thing is that the atmosphere is filled with only positive emotions. When she returns home, all her thoughts will be filled with this man. Every moment will be remembered - to the smallest detail. But the woman will not think about something serious yet, because it's too early for this.

Two weeks have passed since the first date, and here it is. For a woman, this will be a surprise. It is this proposal that will make the girl think about how serious the intentions of her chosen one are.

What does he really want?

In a situation where a man calls for marriage after two weeks of dating, there may be several options for understanding his intentions. But one should not think that the logic of the opposite sex is simple: if you are married, then it is so, and does not imply any self-interest.

First, as you know, the duration of dates and meetings does not always negatively affect the quality of marriage. Some meet for a long time, but when they get married, they cannot live together for a year, they get divorced. For others, a short period of time is enough to understand that this is their soulmate, with whom they want to live their whole lives. Therefore, if a man offered to marry him, one should not give hasty answers.

Secondly, if after two weeks a man is ripe for an offer, but at the same time offers a woman to move in with him immediately, it is worth considering whether there is any catch in his decision. In such a situation, there are two options:

A man is really crazy about a woman and is ready to do crazy things for her;
- he has a vested interest, hiding behind a marriage proposal.

In the first case, a man tries in any way to prove to a woman that he has sincere love for her. In the second version, he uses various tricks to get the girl into bed.

It must be remembered that not every man will dare to propose to a woman after two weeks of dating. It would be appropriate for him to get to know each other better, to get to know the family of the chosen one. Some men, before getting married, decide to test their relationship with a woman in everyday life.

How to determine its severity?

A woman should try to find out if a man is in a difficult situation, such as a quarrel with a girl or a divorce. Men who have been married, as a rule, do not make rash decisions. Therefore, it will be useful for a woman to find out if he just wants to have fun in this way.

It is necessary to pay attention to whether he is interested in his chosen one as a person. If he talks more about himself, then the seriousness of his intentions should be called into question.

It is necessary to remember whether he kept his promises. If he said that he would call at five, and did it only after a few hours or days, making the girl worry, you should think about his intentions. Such irresponsibility can only be tolerated if he had a good reason not to keep his promise.

In a man with serious intentions, behavior is definite and predictable. Saying goodbye to a woman, he plans a new meeting, says that he will call in the evening (at lunchtime, in the morning).

If a man insists on intimacy, regardless of the desires of a woman, then he wants only this. A decent man will wait until a woman gives her consent to such a serious step in their relationship.

Before agreeing to a man's proposal to marry him, you need to understand whether the woman herself is ready for such a step. After that, you should pay attention to it. Only realizing that his intentions are serious, give his answer.

How to recognize a man who is not going to marry you? Elena Kuznetsova, a family psychologist, consultant on interpersonal relations, director of the Me and You dating agency, tells.

Eternal Bachelor

There is practically no chance for a hardened bachelor - this definition fits men aged 40 years older who have not had long-term relationships with girls. Such men are simply afraid to enter into a serious relationship, because for a long time of living alone they have formed their habits, appreciate peace and quiet. And a woman is always a problem, therefore, choosing between the prospect of dying alone and already created comfort, a bachelor in 99% of cases will stop at the second option.

long meetings

A woman should be suspected of something wrong in a relationship if the man did not propose to her during the year of their romance. In the future, you will most likely “shine” either or a guest relationship.

“There is an opinion that if people do not get married within a year (maximum three years), then there is little chance of marriage. Well, or a woman will have to work very hard to drag her beloved to the registry office, ”Kuznetsova notes.

She also says that there is a possibility in the future with a civil marriage, but there must be a good reason for this, some kind of common project: joint purchase of an apartment on a mortgage, the birth of a child, and so on.

Avoiding wedding talk

A man does not particularly need to register a relationship, he is afraid of obligations and is only ready to put a stamp in his passport. So the lady should "drag" the man into marriage - she is more interested in this. If a man in every possible way avoids talking about legalizing relationships, then this is an occasion to think about the fact that he is not going to marry you.

“There is such a pattern in psychology: the first time a person can make mistakes in his judgments, but if he reacts the same way the second time, then this is a diagnosis. Therefore, when a woman says to a man for the first time: “I want to get married - marry me,” and he politely sends her, not everything is lost. But if she asks the same question a second time and again does not receive the desired answer, then, in principle, the lady has almost no chance of winning, ”explains Kuznetsova.

A man, of course, can change his mind in the future, but there must be a good reason for this.

Dating Mom Is Not a Guarantee of a Marriage

Among women, that if a man introduces his mother, then this indicates the seriousness of his intentions. In fact, this does not mean anything and does not guarantee that in the future your loved one will offer you a hand and heart. Except for the situation when the mother once asked her son not to introduce her to all her girls, but only to the one that he really intends to take down the aisle.

“To draw the right conclusion, the girl must clearly know which ones. If this is a respectful relationship, and there is a setting described above, then getting to know your parents is a really serious step on the part of the chosen one. And if he took all his young ladies to his mother from school, and she fed them with buns, then you are just another “passing” option, ”the psychologist states.

The same situation with friends, only easier. If, then the man will definitely introduce her to his friends to boast. Representatives of the opposite sex argue primitively: “The more cool girls I have, the cooler I am. Especially in the eyes of friends."

Ideal development of the situation

When people just start dating, they are. Passions rage for six months. And if a man really likes a woman, usually during this period, he tries to "enclose her with a fence." He says: "Let's live together" or "I want to rent an apartment for you" or "Move to me" or "Get me a job." That is, he does everything so that his beloved is always there.

Useful information

If no steps have been taken, then the passions subside, and people continue to communicate much more calmly. This suits the man just fine. After a year of such relations, in general, everything is already going along well, and the representative of the stronger sex no longer sees any reason to change anything. So girls need to strike while the iron is hot.

If you have questions for psychologist Elena Kuznetsova, you can ask them by writing a letter to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected]

In our time, legal marriage is only one of the types of relations between a man and a woman. A couple can choose to register the union officially, live or just meet. It is good when the type and form of the relationship suits both partners. But what if a woman is ready for marriage, but a man is not, or vice versa?

Why do men get married

The relationship of lovers involves a period of premarital courtship, turning into the creation of a family union. Sometimes this period is too long, people begin to live together in a civil marriage, but do not get married.

A woman herself can propose to a man, couples come to a joint decision to marry, talking about the future, but still the preferred and most desirable option is when a man proposes to his beloved. Why sometimes a man does not marry and does not hurry?

Marriage is the most acceptable and approved form of family relations in society.

The right to marry and found a family is regulated by law. There are a number of legal rights and obligations of spouses and legal prohibitions and restrictions on marriage. However, adults are free to choose a partner and are free to both marry and divorce.

The most common reasons that push a man to marry:

Love. When a couple's relationship is saturated with mutual love, trust, understanding and respect, a man has a desire to consolidate, preserve and legitimize them. When he is sure that he has found what he was looking for, a man is ready to marry.
Need. In the life of a young man, there comes a moment when he is no longer satisfied with short-term relationships, there is a need to create a family, coziness, comfort, stability. A man wants to see next to him not just a girl, but a wife who will always be there, share his life with him, give birth to children, be a mistress, lover, friend. Freedom and independence begin to be perceived as loneliness, there is a desire to belong and be needed.
Parental instructions. Parents can influence a man's desire to find a wife and the decision to marry a particular girl. Kind and wise advice from loving parents will be beneficial and help you make a choice, an unfriendly attitude and slander against a girl can destroy the union of two lovers.
Pregnancy. Most people begin sexual activity before marriage. Despite the large selection of means to prevent unwanted pregnancy, the imminent appearance of a baby is a common reason for marriage.
By calculation. Any marriage is more or less beneficial to both partners, but in marriages of convenience, personal gain is the only reason.

A man marries according to psychological calculation, having decided for himself that a woman is suitable for him as a life partner. The calculation can be based on the desire to have a wife who will arrange life, clean, wash, cook, and so on. There are gigolo men who see a rich wife as a way to get rich. There are many problems that a successful marriage can solve, so marriages of convenience also take place.

Signs that a man is ready to marry

A man does not always marry of his own free will, there are times when this need is dictated by conscience or is the result. Sometimes a man does not want to marry and is not ready for marriage, but is forced to enter into it.

A young man is ready to marry if:

He is independent. It is about material and moral independence. When a man gains financial well-being, a secure job, and understands that he can provide not only himself, but also his family, he feels confident and ready to take on the responsibility of supporting his family.
He wants a family. When a man comes to realize the need to have a family, wife and children, but seeks to satisfy this need. This realization can come to a man at any age, but more often it happens between the ages of 20 and 30.
He is ready to be a father. When a man shows interest in children and everything related to them, loves to play and babysit other people's babies, most likely he wants to have his own children.
He is actually a husband: he takes relationships seriously; cherishes the girl, says and proves that she is special to him; plans a joint future; spends most of the time with his beloved; introduces her to parents, relatives, friends; support morally and financially; assumes responsibility for problem solving; for relationships.

When a man is not ready to marry

When a man is ready to marry, he does not delay making such a decision. Most likely, a man does not marry because he is not mentally ready or doubts his choice.

Other possible reasons for not wanting to get married:

Fear of losing freedom. Underneath this fear lies the negative, when it is perceived as a bond that oppresses the individual and independence. This opinion is held by men who are not ready to work on relationships, insecure, immature individuals.
Fear of responsibility. A man understands that the right to be a husband implies duties, responsibility for the family. He either realizes that he is incapable of becoming a husband, or he does not want to take on such a responsibility.
Unwillingness to change. If a man is completely satisfied with the relationship and he is sure that there is nowhere to develop them further, he does not feel the need to formalize them. Most likely, the man did not initially set the goal of finding a wife, but simply wanted to start a relationship. He does not understand why something should be changed when everything is fine anyway.
An experience. Negative experiences and unsuccessful marriages in the past give rise to doubts and fears that make it difficult to believe in the possibility.
Environment. When others, parents and friends are against the man’s bride, he even listens to their words against his own will, decides to wait and check the girl before asking her to marry.
Fear of marriage. Sometimes men are held back by the fear of the very process of marriage, the wedding ceremony, the need to publicly express their feelings.
Lack of love for a woman. Rarely there are men who are ready to voluntarily tie the knot with an unloved woman (marriages of convenience are an exception).

Question answer

Every girl who has been dating or living with a guy in a civil marriage for a long time sooner or later asks the question: “Will a man marry me?”.

To answer this question, you need to carefully observe the chosen one, note the signs that he is ready or not ready for marriage and draw conclusions.

Knowing the possible reasons for marriage, you can push a man to propose. But you need to understand the edge of reason, not to go over to manipulation or blackmail.

If you act like a caring wife and give a man the opportunity to imagine what will happen when he gets married, you can help him make a choice. Feeling the positive aspects of a family union, a man will want to marry. The main thing is not to overdo it, demonstrating your talents and abilities, so that the man does not have a question: “If she already behaves like a wife, why marry?”.

To please parents and relatives is another opportunity to push a man to marriage.

But the best answer to the question of how to get married is to love a man, to be for him a woman with whom he wants to spend the rest of his life.