What if I got pregnant at 10. Parents are not enemies, you can always turn to them for help

Early pregnancy, especially when it comes to growing up 10 years old, is a very big stress. To the question “What should I do if I got pregnant at 10?” Let the experts help us!

10 years old is the same age when a girl still plays with dolls, completely depends on her mother, enjoys life surrounded by children like herself. But there are different families, different stories, and some children grow up too soon. This usually happens in dysfunctional families where parents do not monitor children and do not pay due attention to their upbringing. The result can be early pregnancy, which turns out to be a huge stress for a young expectant mother. What if I got pregnant at 10? A terrible question, but if this happened due to any circumstances, we will try to figure out how to help in this situation.

At what age to have children

It is debatable whether a girl at that age can even get pregnant. Physiologically, yes, provided that she has already begun menstruation. But psychologically, the child is not ready for this, of course. It's a huge stress.

Psychologists and gynecologists argue about the optimal age for conception. If we consider this issue from a psychological point of view, then this is 28-35 years. During this period, a woman already, as a rule, has a family, a permanent place of residence, and her life is already established. But gynecologists insist that the reproductive age is from 20 to 25 years. Puberty has already ended, the hormonal background has stabilized, and chronic diseases have not yet had time to arise.

But life makes its own adjustments - pregnancy at the age of 10 in the 21st century is a rare phenomenon, but it does occur. And girls at that age should know exactly how to recognize her.

Signs of early pregnancy

At the age of ten, it is very difficult to understand if there are signs of pregnancy. The child is still not mature enough and is not aware of changes in his own body. But it will still be useful to know what signs occur in the event of an early pregnancy:

Delayed menstruation. As a rule, if menstruation has already begun at this age, this is already a stressful factor for a girl. Therefore, it will be very difficult for her to understand whether there is a delay or not.
Loss of appetite, nausea in the morning. Such signs can also be mistakenly attributed to symptoms of general malaise or poisoning.
Frequent urination. The girl cannot analyze whether she visits the toilet often or not.
Change in the mammary glands. Such symptoms usually scare at the age of 10, because the breast increases in size at about the 8th week of pregnancy, the nipple changes color.
Profuse vaginal discharge.
Feeling tired and sleepy. These signs can also be attributed to increased workload at school, for example.

What to do when pregnant at 10 years old

The circumstances under which such a pregnancy occurred may be different. But in any case, parents should be informed about this. Do not be afraid, because your life and health are at stake. Do not discuss this issue with peers and friends. They will not be able to give adequate and correct advice due to lack of knowledge and experience.

Why should adults be told about their condition?

Pregnancy at an early age is a huge threat to your health and future.
If you want to have an abortion, the time is very limited - up to 12 weeks.

The decision to have an abortion is almost overwhelming for a ten-year-old girl. It must be taken with an adult (mom, dad or grandmother), after contacting a doctor, to evaluate the pros and cons, risk factors for health and life.

When deciding to have an abortion, it is important to consider the following:

Who is the father of the unborn child and is he ready to participate in the future of the baby, to take responsibility for what happened.
Terms of pregnancy. Optimal termination of pregnancy is carried out in the early stages - up to 12 weeks.
Girl's health. At the age of 10, the body is not yet ready for gestation and childbirth. Be sure to consult a gynecologist. Indeed, on the other hand, an early abortion can cause infertility in the future.
The psychological state of the girl. It is unlikely that a child at the age of 10 is ready for motherhood.

It is not known what threatens with great negative consequences for the body of a particular child - gestation, childbirth and lactation, or artificial termination of pregnancy.

Almost all psychologists are unanimous in their opinion regarding pregnancy in girls under 18 years of age. What can we say about children 10-14 years old? Here are a few positions that fully reflect the opinion of experts on this issue:

Neither physically nor psychologically, most girls of such an early age are not ready for pregnancy, childbirth, and even more so - taking care of the baby in the future.
The age of 10 years is a period when, according to all the rules, a child must attend school, communicate in society, choose a profession, meet and play with friends, it depends on how comfortable his life will be in the future. Therefore, if an abortion is medically acceptable, it is better to decide in his favor.
If, for any reason, a decision was made to give birth and raise a baby, the girl should fully delve into her new life. This involves stopping school attendance, registering with a antenatal clinic, psychological preparation for future motherhood.

The most important thing is the support of parents and relatives. Without it, it is almost impossible to psychologically survive such a situation. And no matter what decision was made by the girl, it should be supported.

Consequences of pregnancy at a young age

Childbirth at the age of 10 is a procedure that directly threatens the life of the patient. This is fraught with many complications. These include weakness of labor activity, the occurrence of hypotonic bleeding, various injuries of the birth canal. And most importantly, the size of the fetal head may not correspond to the size of the mother's pelvis.

The consequences of early pregnancy can be as follows:

Loss of a huge amount of nutrients.
A huge load on a fragile body, from which various organs and systems suffer.
Acceleration of the processes of sexual and somatic maturation.
The likelihood that a girl will be a single mother is extremely high.

In such situations, girls may start looking for help on the Internet. No article written even by a psychologist with great experience will solve your problem. Now the most important thing is to realize the seriousness of the situation, to trust your parents or any other close adult. And in no case should you try to terminate the pregnancy yourself. The help of a psychologist and a gynecologist will not hurt.

Sexual activity should begin at the appropriate age. 10 years is the time when dreams should come true, when a child enjoys little things and learns about the world, when he plays with his peers. He should not think about what to do with early pregnancy. And for parents it is very important to find out who the father of the unborn baby is. After all, it can be not only a peer, but also a pedophile, who must be immediately prosecuted.

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Each person takes on a huge responsibility, becoming a parent. And of course, everyone wants their child to grow up kind, sympathetic, honest and courageous. But all these qualities are not taken from the air. Proper upbringing and personal example is the key to success.

We are in website collected 10 things that are best introduced to a child under 10 years old.

1. Girls and boys are equal, both need to be respected

Respect is a quality that should definitely be instilled in a child. Including respect for peers, regardless of their gender.

2. Don't be afraid to make mistakes

Learning from the mistakes of others is a talent that is not given to everyone. It is important to be able to benefit from your defeats. Teach your child not to be afraid to lose and make mistakes.

3. Grades are not the main thing. The main thing is knowledge

How many parents scold their children for every grade that does not meet their expectations. But the assessment is not always an indicator of knowledge. Maybe your child is just good at copying. Instill in him from childhood the idea that knowledge is much more important than grades in a diary.

4. Parents are not enemies, you can always turn to them for help

Not everyone can be a friend to their child, especially since he already has friends. And all that is required is good parents who know the measure in everything. Show your child that you can be trusted. A didactic tone or shouting is not the best way to do this.

5. Do not let yourself be offended by a bully, or a teacher, or anyone

Often parents show that friends, a teacher, or just other people are more authoritative than a child. Because of this, a lot of complexes are born and the inability to defend one's opinion. Explain that respect is important, but standing up for your point of view and in some situations fighting back is also necessary. The main thing is to do it right.

6. Don't do things you don't like to earn the approval of others.

The child does not always understand that popularity is not the main thing in life, and strives to get it with all his might. Show by your example that it is more important to be honest and decent than to win the favor of other people by stepping over your principles.

7. Don't be afraid to ask if you don't understand something.

Asking questions is okay. And even more so than sitting with a smart look, really not understanding anything. It's good if your child learns this as a child.

8. Always say if you feel bad

Image copyright Getty Images

A 10-year-old girl who became pregnant as a result of rape and was denied an abortion has found herself in the media spotlight in India. Gita Pand learned the story of a girl in the city of Chandigarh in the north of the country.

"We've seen a lot of teenage pregnancies of 14- and 15-year-old girls, but the first time I see a pregnant woman is at 10," says Mahavira Singh of Chandigarh's public legal office.

Ms. Singh is engaged in a case that has shaken up her city and all of India. A 10-year-old girl became pregnant after she was allegedly repeatedly raped by a relative.

The rapist is now in prison awaiting trial.

The girl who was raped was described as a happy, often smiling child. She is shy and not very social. Her favorite subjects at school are math and English. She loves to draw and she's pretty good at it.

She loves chicken, fish and ice cream.

On the advice of doctors, on July 28, the Supreme Court of India rejected her request for an abortion. The girl is already 32 weeks pregnant, and doctors believe that terminating the pregnancy would be "too risky" for her health. They also said that the fetus is developing well.

The girl's family was shocked by the court decision.

"She doesn't understand what happened"

Indian laws do not allow abortion after 20 weeks of pregnancy - unless doctors can prove that the life of the pregnant woman is in danger.

In recent years, the court periodically receives petitions from rape victims to terminate their pregnancy after 20 weeks. In the vast majority of cases, it is difficult to detect pregnancy in young girls, because they do not realize what is happening to them.

Image copyright Getty Images Image caption According to statistics, in India, a child under 16 years of age becomes a victim of rape every 155 minutes, under 10 years old - every 13 hours

The pregnancy of this 10-year-old girl became known three weeks ago. She complained of pain in her lower abdomen. The mother took the girl to the doctor.

One of those who spoke with the girl said: "She is very naive and does not realize what happened to her."

Her parents also missed the first signs of pregnancy, possibly because she is a "healthy chubby baby". And even in their worst nightmares, they could not imagine that their daughter could become pregnant at 10 years old.

The girl still does not know about her pregnancy. Those who interact with her seem to walk on tiptoe. She was told that she had a large stone in her stomach and therefore her stomach swelled up.

Now she eats according to a special regime - she eats eggs, milk, fruits, fish and chicken. And she seems to enjoy the extra attention.

But lately, the police and social services have been frequenting her home, and there has been an increase in the number of journalists spying on her near her home.

"Perhaps she does not understand the problem itself, the whole complexity of the situation, but there is already some idea of this," one of the officials told the BBC.

The girl lives with her family in a small one-room apartment. Her father works in the government and her mother is a governess.

Police officer Pratibha Kumari, who is investigating the rape case, described the parents as "a very sweet family, so simple they didn't even realize what this man had done to their child."

Parents, of course, are embarrassed. "Her mother always cries when she talks to me. Father says he thinks his daughter was killed."

Statisticsrape inANDndai

Image copyright AFP

Children under 16 are raped every 155 minutes, children under 10 are raped every 13 hours
More than 10,000 children were raped in 2015
240 million women in India married before the age of 18
53.22% of child respondents who took part in a government survey reported some form of sexual abuse against them
50% of offenders knew the victim, were people whom the victims trusted

The situation was also aggravated by the increased attention of journalists, who began to persecute the family as soon as the news of the rape and pregnancy spread in the media.

“At a meeting with me, my father said that the biggest problem is the media. He said that journalists were on duty near their house all the time, their privacy was violated,” Nellie Roberts, chairman of the child welfare committee, told the BBC.

Thanks to the media, the girl receives better medical care and has the right to claim financial compensation from the government.

However, unwanted publicity has become a real disaster for the family. Many journalists went into their house when the father was at work and called themselves social workers.

Since the alleged rapist is the girl's mother's cousin, some of them asked if the mother knew about the rape and perhaps supported it. They also asked how it happened that the parents did not know about their daughter's pregnancy for seven months.

Image copyright Getty Images Image caption 50% of the abusers knew the victim or were people the victims trusted

A local journalist who was one of the first to meet with the family says the parents are worried about the girl's future. The fact that she can be poisoned when she grows up. After all, their neighbors and colleagues of the father already know the story. Perhaps the girl's school friends also know.

The girl's father is also concerned about her health.

Medical tests show that she is mildly anemic, but overall she is doing well.

But the fact that she is too small to give birth to a child remains a fact.

What will be next?

The baby is due in mid-September, and the doctors decided that the girl would have a caesarean section.

The girl's family said they did not want to deal with a newborn child. Consequently, he will be given to the child welfare committee, which will take care of the baby until he is adopted.

Medical experts say the girl will suffer psychological trauma and need the help of a child psychologist.

How to get pregnant the first time? This question is asked by many couples who are planning the birth of a baby. Most women and men believe that no contraception and active sex is all it takes. But is it?

In this topic, we will try to tell you whether it is possible to get pregnant the first time, what factors affect conception and how to properly approach such a delicate matter. We will also share the secrets of how to get pregnant with a boy or a girl.

Is it possible to get pregnant the first time and what affects conception?

There are a number of factors to consider when planning for conception.

The duration of the menstrual cycle. More often it was not possible to get pregnant the first time for women whose monthly cycle is less and more than 28 days, especially when it is not regular. This is because the fertile time is ovulation, that is, the release of the egg from the ovary, which falls in the middle of the cycle. In a 28-day cycle, the egg is released on the 14th day. But for most women, stress, excessive physical or mental work, hormonal disorders and other reasons can lead to a cycle failure, which will affect the bottom of the egg. Therefore, it is not always possible to predict the exact date of ovulation.
Lifespan of a spermatozoon in the female genital tract. On average, the sperm remains active after entering the female genital organs for 72 hours. Therefore, the chance of getting pregnant the first time will be higher when sexual intercourse is performed during ovulation. But even if you count everything up to the day and get to ovulation, then the probability of fertilizing the egg will be only 25%.
The health status of sexual partners. Chronic diseases, age over 30, unbalanced nutrition, harmful abortions, operations on the organs of the reproductive system can be the reason why it is not possible to get pregnant the first time.
Sexual intercourse in the monthly cycle. Adhering to this simple rule, the percentage of conception is still low - about 10%.

You also need to understand that conception does not always end in pregnancy, since a fertilized egg simply may not penetrate into the endometrium of the uterus and come out during menstruation.

What are the chances of getting pregnant the first time? Let's figure it out. According to statistics, every sixth woman planning a child succeeds in getting pregnant the first time.

Also, experts say that if a woman failed to get pregnant from the first, then it is necessary to continue to have an active sex life and not use contraceptives further. In this case, pregnancy can be expected in the next six months.

Clinical observation of a hundred couples planning a child who had and had sexual intercourse no more than three times a week showed that efforts were crowned with success for six months in 60% of couples.

How can you get pregnant the first time quickly and what is needed for this?

To get pregnant the first time, you need to adhere to the following recommendations:

plan pregnancy at the age that is most suitable for this - 20-25 years, since young girls have a regular cycle in most cases;
calculate the day of ovulation for several months, as this will significantly increase the chances of conceiving a child;
use special tests to determine ovulation;
measure basal temperature, an increase in which to 37.4 ° C indicates ovulation;
on the day of ovulation to have unprotected intercourse.

There are also other ways to help you get pregnant quickly.

Is it possible to get pregnant after the first time: poses, pictures

Can a girl get pregnant quickly by choosing certain positions for this, and which position is considered the most suitable? This opinion is shared by many, but not by those who understand this topic. Therefore, unfortunately, we will dispel this myth.

There is no magic position that guarantees 100% conception the first time. The chance of conceiving a child is only affected by the day when unprotected intercourse was performed, and this day should be ovulation.

But, perhaps, for the conception of a child, a special position will be needed for women whose uterus has a backward bend, since such a pathology prevents sperm from entering the cervix.

In this case, experts recommend having sex in positions where the man is behind the woman. This position allows for deeper penetration into the vagina and makes it easier for semen to enter the cervix. Also, after coitus, it is recommended that a woman become in the “birch” position (see photo).

Unfortunately, the only true, fast and accurate way to get pregnant has not yet been found. But given the opinion of experts and feedback from women on the forums, we have selected methods that will increase the likelihood of conceiving a child the first time.

Taking vitamins. A few months before the planned pregnancy, both partners need to start taking vitamin complexes, which must contain vitamins E and C, as well as folic acid. Also, do not forget about macro- and microelements, such as calcium, iron, copper, selenium, magnesium and zinc. The listed vitamins and minerals will not only accelerate the onset of pregnancy, but will also help to give birth to a healthy child, since they contribute to the normal laying of organs and systems, primarily the neural tube.
Have sex no more than 2-3 times a week. It takes 8-12 weeks for a spermatozoon to mature, and with one ejaculation, 100-400 thousand spermatozoa come out. Therefore, too frequent sexual intercourse reduces the effectiveness of the seed and it will not be possible to conceive a baby quickly.
Folk methods and means. You can quickly conceive a child if you regularly use a decoction of ortilia. To prepare a decoction, pour three tablespoons of plant leaves with two cups of boiling water and boil over low heat for 20-30 minutes, then strain the medicine through a fine sieve. This decoction is recommended to be taken instead of tea, several cups a day. Also, traditional healers advise eating pumpkin in any form, since it is rich in vitamins and minerals that have a beneficial effect on reproductive function.

Is it possible to get pregnant for the first time and plan the sex of the baby?

More than one women's forum is replete with the question: I specifically want a boy or a girl, what should I do? Well, we reveal the secret of what can be done and how to plan the sex of the baby.

The gender of the fetus is laid during the fusion of the egg with the sperm, and the sex depends on which chromosome is present in the male germ cell.

The X chromosome is responsible for the birth of a girl, and the Y chromosome is responsible for the birth of a boy.

The following regularities are also known:

"Spermatozoa-boys" live up to 24 hours in the female genital tract, but at the same time they are much more active than "sperm-girls";
“Girl sperm” live up to 72 hours after entering the female genital organs, but they move more slowly than “boy sperm”.

Given the above features of sperm with X and Y chromosomes, it can be said that in order to conceive a girl, unprotected intercourse must occur three days before the date of ovulation. Before the release of the egg, the sperm carrying the Y chromosome will die, and only the "girl" ones will remain.

Accordingly, first you will need to determine this date using the methods that we talked about earlier.

If you want a boy, then sexual intercourse should be on the day of ovulation, then sperm with a Y chromosome will fertilize an egg faster than sperm with an X chromosome.

More than one specialist will not undertake to answer reliably and unambiguously this question. One woman immediately got a long-awaited pregnancy, and the other did not become pregnant even after the tenth in vitro fertilization.

Experts say that after the first IVF, only 35% of women can become pregnant. It all depends on a number of factors, which include the following:

age of partners;
the nature of the disease that caused infertility;
duration of infertility;
the quantity and quality of embryos obtained during artificial insemination;
the woman's compliance with all recommendations for preparing for embryo implantation;
unsuccessful attempts at artificial insemination in history;
partners lifestyle.

If you cannot get pregnant on your own and decide to resort to in vitro fertilization, then you, first of all, need to choose an experienced specialist - a reproductive doctor - and strictly follow his recommendations.

As a result, we can say that, unfortunately, there is no 100% method that would help you get pregnant the first time. You can only increase the chance of a quick conception of a baby with the help of the above recommendations.

There is no justice in this world: someone dreams of children, prays, is treated, but they still do not exist. Someone does not want to have them at all, but ... over and over again goes to an abortion, or leaves an unfortunate baby in a baby's house, and it happens that he throws good people at the door, let's not talk about more terrible things. To some, my story will seem banal, while others will become interested and draw the right conclusions for themselves.

First marriage and divorce

I got married very early, at the age of 18, and immediately gave birth to a daughter. As usual, love in a young family broke into everyday life, and my husband and I soon parted ways. For many years I lived alone and, of course, did not think about children. There was only one thought: to raise and raise his only daughter. Although, of course, I wanted both family and ordinary female happiness and more children. I wanted to try what it is like when you raise a child together with a loved one, share with him common parental joys.

Second marriage and dreams of a child

And finally, happiness smiled at me: after 10 years of loneliness, I met a man who soon became my husband. Almost immediately after the wedding, there was talk of children. My husband was passionate about children. Or at least one child, preferably a girl.

I saw with what eyes he looks at other people's children, how easily he finds a common language with them, how he knows how to console and cheer them up, and I understood that he would certainly be a wonderful father.

But for some reason, such a desired pregnancy did not come. After two years of marriage, I went to the doctor for advice. I was diagnosed with secondary and was admitted to the hospital. There I underwent several courses of treatment for the residual effects of chronic inflammation of the uterus and ovaries, underwent a procedure for blowing out the fallopian tubes, etc.

long-term fertility treatment

Most importantly, in the hospital I met many women with the same problems as me. They all longed for a child, but the pregnancy never came.

Probably, no one except us, who are in the eternal expectation of pregnancy, knows this crazy hope and complete disappointment that you go through every month. After that, you feel so empty and useless.

Visits to the gynecologist became mandatory and routine, over the next three years I experienced all possible methods of treating infertility, but ... all to no avail. In addition, due to the course of strong hormonal drugs, my weight began to grow, and in a year I gained 18 kg. The course of treatment ended, but the weight remained and did not want to go away, although I again tried gymnastics and massage.

Non-traditional infertility treatment

Completely disappointed with official medicine, I began to visit healers and psychics. All of them unanimously told me that I would definitely give birth to a child, but the pregnancy still did not occur. The healers gave me various types of massage (including the uterus), hand passes, recited prayers, etc.

A year later, I went to my grandmother - a witch, she advised me to introduce tampons from a fresh egg mixed with ten drops of iodine. Then she gave me a herbal collection (I don’t know exactly from which herbs), advised me some slander and prayers. All this turned out to be useless.

Appeal to God

And so I went to church. I, a baptized Christian since infancy, but rarely went to church. Although in difficult moments of her life she always read the prayers “Our Father” and “Our Lady, virgin, rejoice.” Here I was in such a hopeless state, such melancholy attacked that my legs seemed to lead me to church on their own. I went up to the icon of the Mother of God (as it turned out later, Kazan) and began to pray. At that moment it seemed to me that my heart was open, and I was talking to the Mother of God as with a person close to me, as with a mother woman who could easily understand me. I looked at her face on the icon and saw eyes full of sorrow and understanding. I saw how tenderly she hugged her child to her and asked her to grant me this happiness too.

I left the church refreshed. I calmed down and no longer grumbled at God that he did not give me this desired child.

I realized that everything is rewarded to us according to deeds and we cannot understand God's will. But since then I have ceased to be tormented, I have become calmer, but not happier. I thought that I would probably never give birth.

A dream come true

A month later, my period did not come, and I bitterly decided that an early menopause was beginning. At that time I was already (or still) 37 years old. Four months later, I went to the next medical examination and there, with surprise and delight, I found out about my pregnancy. What is most interesting: I did not feel any ailments at all. The whole pregnancy proceeded easily, I never lay on conservation, and although I was already considered old-bearing, I gave birth to an easily desired and beloved girl Masha.

Now Mashenka is already a teenager, and what is most interesting is that she has been a deeply religious person since childhood.

Believing in God is as natural to her as breathing. And when she prays to the Mother of God or talks about her, tears boil in her eyes.

WHAT SHOULD I CALL WHAT HAPPENED TO ME IF NOT A MIRACLE? I advise everyone to never lose heart, to believe and fight to the end.